I'm not gonna sit here and act as if I don't take offense to things. Even if it doesn't have anything to do with me, I can still take those things as a knock. I've been that way my whole life. It's gotten a lot better, but growing up--especially due to my height (currently 5'6")--I always had a chip on my shoulder. As I've progressed and continue to progress through this second decade of my life, it's become easier for me to use that chip in a constructive way for myself as well as for others. It teaches you situational awareness, emotional awareness, and a healthy serving of grit. Being the owner of the A.B.O.Y WORLDWIDE brand, an entrepreneur in spirit & truth, and eventually a husband and father, these are things that are required for these positions. Though it can be a challenge to find the balance of when to implement these characteristics in daily life, the repetition and frequency of use helps me to better understand myself and others. I hope it will help you as well.
I haven't read The Four Agreements (yet), but I know that one of the agreements is to not take anything personal. Reason being is because sometimes, the way people act is not based on your reality, but on their own. They obviously see life through a different lens than you would. When you put it that way, it's very simple to understand. However, in the moment--when you are taking things personal--it becomes very intricate. I think of some conversations like those houses that have the moving laser security system that turns on at night. It's not exactly impossible to get what you need out of that house, but it sure isn't probable. That's how a lot of conversations are. I'm sure people think that's how some conversations are with me. As I stated in the beginning, I do take offense to things. I mean, we're human. But it was a point in my life where I didn't know how to take criticism. It didn't even have to be on myself. It'd be simple things like what I would take part in, the people I hung out with, or even something as simple as what I'd eat (I was and still am a very picky eater). All of these things--and the opinions on them--would be an annoyance to me as a teenager. I've grown to understand that even if criticism isn't constructive, you have to take it with a grain of salt. In other words, whether you consider it to be good advice, bad advice, or plain malarkey, there are things to be drawn from it and things to be left where they are.
IQ in this modern day world is such a high commodity. I think because the human brain can't be replicated, we will never be able to create an comparable AI system that any of these multi-billion dollar corporations can even imagine. In so many of our sectors in the world, there has to be IQ involved. However, in a more convoluted way, there are very little traces of IQ in how we relate to ourselves and others. Social media platforms like Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter & TikTok are big catalysts in how this has ineffectively changed our world as we know it. Dating apps like Tinder & Bumble changing how the basic meeting of two opposite sexes is brought together. DoorDash and GrubHub are revolutionizing the food service world as well as delivery. Speaking of delivery, Uber & Lyft have become the new taxi. So with so much automation in the world, what IQ is needed? Is thinking too much? For myself personally, taking time to unplug from social media especially has helped me with keeping the chip on my shoulder in its place. Everyone has an opinion, and most opinions will offend the next person. But the only way we will get to a place of health and intelligence in our society is being able to accept and respect different opinions, instead of drowning them out with our own.
In my personal relationships and my relationship with myself, I've had to take the time to gain not only the intelligence, but the spirit & work ethic it takes to get them to the place that I want them to be and should be as a personal standard. It's taken me time to realize that I'm not the only person in this world that is in the process of this personal transition. Some relationships are built on things that will eventually disappear in the quicksand it was founded upon, no matter how much work you'll put into it. Other relationships will take a bit longer than you would like to. You can of course say that Rome wasn't built in a day, but neither was a mansion. Obviously one house doesn't compare to an empire, but when it comes to relationships, you have to start on that type of scale. I thought a picket fence was my dream. Now, I want a compound. I thought one relationship would make me happy. Now, I want all my relationships to bring me happiness, and vice versa. It's frustrating when those things don't come to fruition when you want them to. You adapt as a person, your goals adapt, your dreams adapt. Your joys and pains will adapt as well. As human beings, we share in the same struggles. We don't suffer alone. Nor do we succeed alone. That's the beautiful thing about this life. It's a shared experience. Once you realize that it's something to be shared though, is when you'll begin to turn what's personal, into what's personal.
In closing, be intelligent with what you're allowing to affect you externally. Opinions are external. Judgement is external. Once you give those things free reign over your psyche is when it becomes an internal game. That game is a very dangerous one. Patience, persistence, and peace are the name of the game. Those are things you can take to yourself personally to help with not taking things so personal. I hope you guys realize that as much as these Snake Eyes post are aimed from an outwards lens, I try my best to take my own advice and practice what I preach. Whatever you're using to help someone else is something you should be using yourself. Don't ever get to the point that you're telling your circle or people you love to do things that you aren't willing to do. Make it a priority to walk what you talk.
- II